Quick, to the slutcave!
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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