so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
