we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
