Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
