Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
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Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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