my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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