im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I know her cup size but not her name....
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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