Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
