i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
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I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
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