trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
