he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize