Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Randomize
