Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It's never too late to be topless.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
