...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
