Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
