In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.