yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
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i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
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Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.