there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
