The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
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