forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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