You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
