if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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