SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize