watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
