is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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