i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize