Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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