having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
