shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
