he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I lost the right to judge tonight
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
