Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
are you so shy because you have an std?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
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Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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