Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
