I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I party with great urgency now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
