All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my phone needs a breathalizer
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Randomize
