I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
he fucked my hip out of place.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
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