just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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