wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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