Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
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