Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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