True but thats because hes a fetus.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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