I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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