She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
