Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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