I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
