Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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