That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
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Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
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This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize