If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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