have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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