i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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