I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize