is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
