I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Randomize
