I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
