Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
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