Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
